NOTHING! DO NOT GO HERE! IT'S DANGEROUS, MAJOR H&S RISKS, DODGY ELECTRICS/BOILER, FALSELY ADVERTISED AND THE HOST IS A LIAR! 

DO NOT GO HERE! DANGEROUS, MAJOR H&S RISKS, DODGY ELECTRICS/BOILER, FALSELY ADVERTISED AND THE HOST IS A LIAR! What we were expecting - An average chalet with the bare necessities, as promised in the spiel. For clarification, we were NOT expecting a mansion with mod cons. What we got - a run down, miserable slum which was lacking all the basics required for simple living, and which, worst of all, was a danger zone. This was advertised as an idyllic getaway chalet, not a jungle survival challenge, and in short, I was being asked to risk my safety to fix their rudimentary essentials, such as electricity. Described as the 'Hidden Gem of Leysdown', this filthy, lethal, insect ridden hell hole is as far removed from its description as Earth is from Jupiter. It is advertised as non-smoking (if you ignore the joint left under the bed by the so-called cleaner) with an 'equipped kitchen', bathroom and shower. My 'quip' here is that you had to transport the said items to other areas of the chalet to use them, plugging them into random places around the chalet. And listen up folks! Bring your own snacks because if you don't get your dinner heated up quickly before the power cuts out, you'll be left famished, and shivering in the dark. Don't worry though, you can take a shower - as long as you don't mind a cold one in a filthy cubicle. Especially comforting in the colder autumn weather, which is when we graced this shack with our presence. Its promise of sea views is laughable and non-existent - you'd get closer to a sea view watching it on the flat screened TV which is also boasted of in the spiel, and that would've at least been something, if it had actually worked! No remote existed, which was blamed on the cleaner. They either lost it or used it to stub out their cigarettes, adding nicely to the 'no smoking' environment.